Dear Kuchalo Editor,
I am a Zambian living in Illinois and have been in the United States for over ten years. I am married with three children, but my husband and children remain in Zambia while I have built a life and career here.
Although I am grateful for the opportunities I have found, I miss my family deeply. I understand that life often requires sacrifice, and I have accepted that my time away is part of what I am doing to support them.
Recently, however, I have been struggling with a personal situation that has grown out of loneliness and a longing for connection.
Life in the diaspora can be isolating, and over the past few months, I developed a close relationship with a man I met at work.
What started as simple conversations gradually became more meaningful, and before I fully realised it, I found myself in a relationship I had never intended to pursue.
He is also African, married, and separated from his own family back home. In many ways, we were both drawn together by a shared sense of isolation and the emotional distance from our loved ones.
What we found in each other felt like comfort in a difficult environment, but it has now left me deeply conflicted.
I care deeply about my family and want to honour my commitments to them. At the same time, I cannot ignore the emotional and physical loneliness I have been experiencing. I find myself torn between what I know is right and the very real human need for companionship and affection.
I am now seeking guidance. How can I reconcile these feelings with my responsibilities to my family? What steps should I take to protect my marriage, my well-being, and the life we have built, while also addressing the loneliness that led me here?
Sincerely,
A Zambian in the Diaspora