Sanam, an Iranian immigrant who came to the US over a decade ago, was finally about to become a US citizen. Years of navigating paperwork, approvals, tests, and security vetting, had brought her to the last step: a naturalization ceremony.
But then, just two days before she was to take her oath on 3 December, the US government abruptly cancelled it.
Sanam was shocked and confused at first – there was no explanation. She didn’t understand why the ceremony was cancelled when she hadn’t done anything wrong, she told the BBC.
Later, she found out it was because of where she was born, and sadness and frustration crept in.
“It’s been just years and just feeling drained and feeling like, can I even keep going with this process? Because it’s been so hard,” Sanam said. “It’s just very heartbreaking.”
Sanam – who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation but who chose to share her nickname – lives in Oregon with her husband, a US citizen from Kansas. Her identity has been verified by the BBC.
Her case is one of many – earlier this month the Trump administration began cancelling the citizenship ceremonies of immigrants from 19 countries already subject to a travel ban, including Iran.
That controversial decision left some legal permanent residents like Sanam – people who already had passed through every step of the process to become US citizens and were only awaiting the final formality – in an indefinite state of uncertainty.
“It just feels like our life is kind of in this limbo state, unstable,” Sanam said, adding that she and her husband feel like they are “at the mercy of what the government decides”.
This experience has led Sanam to start reconsidering whether it’s worth it to stay in the US. She still has family in Iran, including her ageing parents, and she doesn’t know when she’ll be able to see them again.
“It’s hard to think about hope at this point,” she said. “It’s a really scary time and unfortunately as we approach the holidays, it’s just really sad that people are going through this, and it’s supposed to be a season of joy and getting together with your family.”